Oh, my goodness, it has been for-ever since my last post, and I am unbelievably sorry! Obviously I suck at my continuous promises to keep up with commenting and regular blog posts. I feel like my life is just in a complete and total whirlwind though this semester, and I'm just thrown into it all, barely treading water as more and more is piled on.
Student teaching is brutal. Fun and rewarding, but all of a sudden I feel like I'm 100% a grown up. My closet, which once hung a mix of preppy and boho inspired clothing is now filled with black blazers and pencil skirts (most with the tags still on, I am new to this after all!). My collection of boots and Blahniks? Replaced by comfy flats that I'm able to wear all day without complaining about aching feet. My days of waking up at 11 a.m., taking a long, hot shower, and then spending 45 minutes perfecting my hair? Replaced by stumbling out of bed at 6 a.m., careful to be silent so I don't disturb my roommate, and then taking a fast shower, blow- drying haphazardly, then rushing to put on the clothes I have already laid out the night before.
I love my class - they're absolutely adorable. But, these 22 fourth graders are talkers! They could probably talk from the time the day starts all the way up til their buses come, and not have any problem with it. It takes my co-op (cooperating teacher) all the classroom management in the world to get these chatty Cathies to settle down and focus on their work. But they're sweet kids - one actually wrote the teacher a paper about moi, and emailed it to the teacher (this was not an assignment), in which she explained how "nice" I am and how she can tell I am "a really nice and fun person." It's seriously a page long, and is currently hanging on my fridge. So sweet!
As sweet as these kiddos are, I am exhausted by the end of the day! Chris Christie (Jersey's new governor, who is not only 100% opposed to gay rights/marriage, but also thinks that teachers are overpaid and overcompensated with benefits....yes, really), should spend one week in a classroom as a student teacher (or substitute if he's really brave!), and then be allowed to form an opinion on education.
I literally get home at 4:30, and am absolutely wiped - and by the time I get back from dinner, it's around 6ish, which means that in four hours (at most), I'm ready to call it a night. I cannot tell you where those hours disappear to, but something always comes up and just eats them away, prolonging me from visiting all your fabulous blogs. Redundant as I'll sound, I DO miss you guys terribly, and wonder what you're all up to!
Then, on MLK Jr. Day this past Monday, when my plan was to stay in bed for as long as possible, watch hours of Friends with my roommate, and blog and catch up with you all, things took an unexpected turn.
I guess working with all the kids caught up with me, since I woke up throughout the night feeling 100% nauseous (which at the time, I attributed to playing "catch up" with my birth control, and taking two pills the night before). Upon waking up and still feeling unbelievably sick, I knew it had to be something more. So for the entire miserable day, I spent a good amount of time running back and forth to the bathroom (I'll spare you the lovely details).
J was really sweet - texting throughout the day to see how I was feeling, though I don't think he really knew just how sick I felt, even though I pleaded with him to come over and kill me.
Now, the rest of the details are completely unknown to me - the last thing I remember (from looking through my phone), was that J texted me at 5:22 p.m. asking if I wanted to head to dinner with him, or if I wouldn't be able to make it. I replied back saying that there was just no way that was happening.
After that, I have absolutely no memory of what happened.
Through roommates, J, and my phone, I found out that at around 6:25 (an hour later), J called me, and we had a conversation that lasted 45 seconds. Apparently after that, I also called home, but no one picked up there. J was worried after our conversation, so he came over to the apartment, and found me in my bed, shivering from being cold, barely coherent, and telling him that my head hurt really bad.
After he turned on the light to examine my head, he saw I had a huge gash under my left eye, a cut above the same eye, my lip was cut and fat (again, on the left side), my nose bruised, and bruising all along the left side of my face. When he asked me how that happened, I had absolutely no idea. It was at that point, when he ran into the living room, told my roommates what happened and that he needed to take me to the hospital.
When they came in to get me dressed while J was warming up the car, I was completelyyy incoherent. Apparently I asked numerous times what day it was, and if I was dreaming. I also didn't even remember how to walk, so I had to be carried by my two roommates, and my roommate's fiance up to J's car.
When we got to the hospital (the only part I remember is laying my head down in R's lap during the ride), I got sick again outside of the hospital (poor R had to hold a bag =/ ), and the next thing I can remember is laying down in a "pod" in the emergency room, waiting for nurses to come in.
Once they hooked me up to the IV, I have full memory of everything after, including them standing me up to take my blood pressure, and having it drop 25 levels after 1 second of standing. It was prettyyy scary, and I could see it in the faces of all my friends just how concerned they were.
We were in the ER for hours - nurses kept popping in and out, including one really bitchy one who after she went through a questionnaire and found out I had a history of eating disorders, decided right then and there that I was obviously in the hospital due to something relating to that. So she became a real sweetheart after that to me, and stopped listening to the pleas of my friends insisting I was fine, and was so kind to all of us, up until the doctor came in to whisk me away for a CAT scan.
So, long story short... the hospital stay that was supposed to only last one night until I was hydrated, turned into my doctor asking me six times if I had taken illegal drugs or drank excessive amounts of alcohol; then scheduling me for an MRI and EEG, which wasn't going to be able to happen until the NEXT day, which meant another night in the uncomfortable bed with people constantly walking in to draw more and more blood (if the doctor didn't think I did heroin before, the millions of needle marks in my arms should convince him). Everything turned up fine, my doctor came back in today and lectured me about eating disorders and how I have a "low BMI that contributed to my dehydration," and informed me I need to now consume 2,800 calories a day to make up for my weight and have a "normal BMI."
So now, I type this laying on the couch in my apartment, watching Friends (the one when Ross has sex with the girl from the copy place when he and Rachel are on a break...it still kills me!), and missing you all so much. My eye has a massive gash underneath it, reminiscent of a very large mole, my mouth is still sore, and I'm unbelievably weak, but I'm home and so grateful for it.
It's strange that being in a hospital was comparable to torture for me - I think I really need to reexamine, especially because of the earthquake in Haiti, and all those who are really suffering. In the midst of me growing up and having more adult responsibilities, maybe prioritizing about what I'm thankful for, and the fact that even with a heinous gash on my face, at least I have my home and my family. All those in Haiti are in my thoughts and prayers. If you haven't donated yet, you can do so through the Red Cross (where my bff R is interning in public relations!).
Hopefully this disaster will have a silver lining and the world can band together in love. Hello, I was raised by hippies... there's always a little hope (and cheesiness).
Love you all! What have you been up to?!
P.S., If you're not already, follow me on Twitter! I'm slowly getting more sucked in =)
Currently: Obeying doctor's orders and eating 2,600 calories in a day. Crab wontons and steamed dumplings? Oh, yes.
Windswept & Little Horns
1 hour ago