Wednesday, May 13, 2009

The Thesaurus of Emotions.

So, I'm kind of at a weird place right now. Like, a major conflict of emotions. In some areas of my life, everything is going so perfectly... I have a new and fantastic boyfriend (it's official, yayy!) who asked me out in the city - my favorite place in the world over Magnolia Bakery cupcakes and sitting at Rockefeller Center; I saw friends from school today; and I'm outside allll the time just enjoying the beautiful weather. So it seemed like everything was just perfect, which is probably a dangerous place to be, because lets face it - life is not perfect.

I've been gearing up packing to get to China - buying gifts for my students that I'll be teaching there, I got my new camera so I can really capture the magnificence of the Great Wall and Summer Palace, buying new clothes, and just getting like super, super excited about the entire experience. So of course, when I got an email two weeks ago saying that the Chinese government was worried about the swine flu in the U.S. and that they were considering not letting people in, I was super, super bummed. But I kept my hopes up, and figured that the government would see that this whole thing is just really silly, and that they are overreacting a little. So then, when I got ANOTHER email saying that everything was fine and the trip was back on, I was stoked again. I started getting everything together, talking about it with everyone, cancelling work for two weeks, and studying up on different aspects of Chinese culture (and practicing my chopsticks skills!). New boyfriend and I were talking the other night and he told me he was planning on writing a letter to me for everyyy day I was gone, and leave them in my suitcase so that we could still be connected even from a bagillion miles away (awwe).

Yesterday, when I woke up, I had nothing to do until 3 so I just had a leisurely morning. I was on Facebook for wayyy too long, went for a run, straightened up my room, and then decided to check my email which had remained untouched since the weekend. Upon opening up my inbox, I saw a letter from one of the leaders on the trip to China. The subject line said it all, and immediately depressed me. "Trip Cancelled." I seriously think I just sat at my computer dumbfounded for a few minutes before even opening up the message.

Upon opening it up, I learned that the Chinese government does not want large groups coming into their schools, in order to prevent something like the SARS scare that happened a few years ago, so they are revoking any visas that were issued after April 20. When was my visa issued, you may ask? April 21. So I missed the cut off by oneee day.

Needless to say, I've been a little bummed. I had been looking forward to this trip for monthsss, had told everyone about it, had just gotten my hopes up so much. I would have been in China right now if things had panned out, so today was a little rough/frustrating.

Again, I've been sucking so hard at not commenting on your fabulous blogs - I've been trying to make it to them as much as I could, but promise, promise that I will be visiting them regularly from now on!

I've also been promising updates for-ev-er (said Sandlot style), but I'm just in a crappy, down kind of mood so I don't want all the good to be masked by my current state of disappointment. So instead of complaining about things, the fabulous Alyssa Megan tagged me recently, so I'll be finishing up her tag and heading off to bed! (You guys should check out her blog - she's a fabulous photographer!). She and I also share a lot of things in common :)

20 Things

1) Favorite accessory?
I love scarves. American Apparel has some fabulous circular ones that I just adoreeee. I also really love necklaces. Long ones for layering are on of my current faves in the fashion world!

2) What do you wear when you're down?
My favorite comfy boyfriend fit jeans and my gray American Apparel sweatshirt. Super casual, super comfy, yet still cute enoughhh so I don't feel like complete and total crap.

3) When you're feeling pretty?
Dresses...preferably from Fossil or Anthropologie. Or maybe a great pair of skinny jeans. It all depends on my attitude. I think attitude has a lot to do with if I'm feeling pretty or not :)

4) Favorite designer?
Karl Lagerfeld/John Galliano.

5) Favorite photographer?
Tim Walker/Alex Kirkbride/Hedi Slimane.

6) Handbag?
Currently a big bag from Anthropologie...multi colored, pretty, just what I needed :)

7) Jeans?
Joe's, Seven for All Mankind (even though I knowww they're so overplayed, they just make my butt look so good in them), Lacoste, and Rock and Republic (specifically Victoria Beckham for Rock and Republic).

8) Worst fashion moment?
When I bit into the only Hollister/Abercrombie phase. Aka, fit in instead of standing out and being myself! I actually had a tshirt that said, "If All Else Fails, At Least I'm Hot." Ew, ew, ew.

9) Mom's style?
Veryyyy preppy. Mostly J. Crew, Lilly Pullitzer, and Ralph Lauren. It's actually cute though.

10) Three places you'd rather be right now?
In a park with the boyfriend, Paris, CHINA

11) Your hair?
Currently in a very sloppy looking ponytail. Ickk.

12) Celeb crush?
Bear Grylls

13) Color?
Light yellow, sage green

14) Drink?
Red wine (pinot noir please), water with lemon

15) Food?
Penne vodka

16) Dream/Goal?
To love others more than I love myself, to help the poor in any way I can, to have a family, to be a teacher...ahh, so many!

17) Dream last night?
So random...seriously, I would think I dropped acid at night from the ridiculous dreams I have sometimes!

18) Fear?
Sharks!, someone chasing me (seriously, just the thought of someone chasing me through my house or in a parking lot somewhere is enough to give me nightmares!)

19) Where do you want to be in 10 years?
Hopefullyyy married with a steady career and a family...I want my life to mean something!

20) 3 Television Shows?
Entourage, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, The Office

I'm tagging anyoneee who would like to do this super fun survey!

Anyway, I really am sorry for this being so freaking discouraging. I promise I'll bounce back soon and be my regular, mostly optimistic self :)
Love you all. How have you all been?! Any super fun weekend plans?

Currently listening to: Rachael Yamagata - Letter Read


Fashion Moment said...

I love this post, great answers!


Tom Cupples said...

Hey Alison - out of adversity and disappointment comes opportunity. If you'd gone to China you'd probably have loved it but you would have missed your boyfriend. You'll always have another chance to go to China but you may not have this time again with your new man.

Kicking couture said...

aww hunnie, i know how excited you were. Everything happens for a reason, just think of the wonderful summer you have ahead of you! and with the new bf, who is v cute!

talk to you soon xx

Couture Carrie said...

Oh Allison darling I am so sorry about the China trip... Something even better will come your way; I am sure of it!

Yay for the BF, Magnolia cupcakes, pinot noir & Entourage ~ loooooved reading your tag answers!

And thanks for your super-sweet comment on my tag post :)


Nicole Linette said...

Hey Allison, sorry about your trip to China :(! That would definitely dampen my entire week, so it's alright to mope. Swine flu is ridiculously overhyped by the media, although the NYC school closing was a bit iffy.. but may I ask which provence/city you were planning on going to and what you were doing?

Yayy, for new boyfriends :D <3 Good luck, he must be a sweeetheart!!

I love the survey you posted, I'm going to do it! I adore scarves as well, and Karl and John are geniuses. Ugh, I went through the same stupid label snob phase in middle school! I'm so glad I'm over that, and stopped wasting my money on clothes that didn't even fit right or last long.

Thanks for the comment on my blog, I hope you have a nice weekend =)

dapper kid said...

So sorry to hear about the China trip dear :( But, as corny as it sounds, everything does happen for a reason. Plus this way, you get to spend more and more time with the new boyfriend :)

Yay for scarves! They are perfect for any weather, I swear. And ooh, would love to buy the AA circle scarf, I just need the money. I honestly have no idea what Hollister is, but Abercrombie is like a major thing for all the jock types here in London. Plus, ever since they opened up on Savile Row, and started misusing the historical name of the London tailors, I have hated them more!

Oooh, Bear Grylls is so awesome! I always make sure to watch whenever Born Survivor is on, he may actually beat Ray Mears. I have learnt so many survival tips from that show lol. Yikes and I remember how scared I was after watching Jaws, I was terrified of taking a bath for weeks lol.

Hope you're having a beautiful weekend dear :)

amynicola_ox said...

yay congrats with the bf i am so happy for you love!!! i hope you are reallly happy together,y ou must keep me updated!! As for China - you will get your chance :) AND omg your the first other person I've sene who likes Bear Grylls - now thats a mans man lol

Eddie said...

Allison my love, I'm so sorry that your trip to China was canceled. I know you're not happy about it, as you've been excitedly preparing to go, but I'm sure nature had its perplexing reason...

On another note, I'm happy that you have yourself a new beau to share your adventures with. The fact that you call him "the boyfriend" cracks me up too. I love it...

As I read your list, I noticed you mentioned the shark thing. I recently saw a video of this rare shark that is hardly ever seen my humans. It really large (not to be mistaken by the Whale Shark) and it has one of the largest, creepiest set of eyes I've ever seen. Solid black and ominous. It swims very slowly, looks mildly retarded, and it has an unusually large head. I forget what it's called, but I almost passed the eff out when I saw it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is: STAY CLEAR OF THAT VIDEO.

Hope the fact that I mentioned this INSANITY cheered you up in some oddball kinda way... LMAO.

Besitos my love...

Btw, I'm still unusually jealous of this new guy of yours, but at the same time, positively happy for you. I can't help it. It's a Latin thing... said...

Thanks for the comment. :)
I'm sorry your trip was cancelled. :( Perhaps in the future you'll get another chance to go, or even go on your own [in a non-teaching capacity, etcc..]. I hope you do. :)

yiqin; said...

The office is so good :)

La Couturier said...

Congrats on the new boyf =] <3 And that is sooo cute that he asked you out in the city! ;] All guys should take note of that ;]

La C.

molly said...

congrats on the boyfriend! how exciting...
its really unfortunate your china trip got cancelled, but i'm sure you'll have another chance, and you'll find some amazing things to do in the meantime!

Keith said...

Hey Allison. Great to see a new post from you. I'm so sorry about the trip to China. That's terrible news. I sure you are bummed over it. I would be myself. I hope you had a good weekend though. Take care. Enjoy your week. Cheers! Keith

HiFashion said...

Oh no. I feel so bad about your trip to China. Hopefully more wonderful things will happen to you in the future.
But lol about the logo on the t-shirt. I went through that phase as well. And I also have a huge crush on bear grylls. Brilliant man

Hanako66 said...

I looooove learning about you...I love those shows too and I think our mom's would be fast friends lol!

I am so very sorry about your least you can have many more Magnolia cupcakes with your new BF during the time you would have been gone:)

Elizabeth Marie said...

Hey love! I am sooo sorry about your trip, I know how excited you were.
But everything happens for a reason, so try to think of the positives-I agree with Hanako-magnolia cupcakes in the park with the NEW BOYFRIEND! (I want pictures, I want details haha)

I love your answers, we have way too much in common!

You're amazing, and amazing things are just around the corner for you, so don't get too down love! XO

molly said...

ohh thank you allison :)
and i'm so glad we share a lot of the same favourite beatles songs...but not surprised - you have excellent taste!

ashley said...

I missed your blog Alison it's been a while! Sucks about the China trip, I would love to go there. My grandmother is chinese, so obviously, it would be a pretty cool experience for me. Loved reading the survey as well.