Wednesday, December 3, 2008

How Boyfriends Can Break Up Best Friends

So, I have been friends with T since we both switched to private school in 7th grade. We are so much alike it's crazy, and I know that she's one of the only people who really gets me. She's also the only person in the entire world who I really trust almost completely (which is HUGE for moi). We're able to really be ourselves together, and we do the DUMBEST things sometimes, but to us, it's so much fun. One of our goals that we have had since high school (which is also so silly, so you can make fun if you want ;] ) is that we want to go to EVERY diner on this stretch of highway in Jersey - which is no easy feat if you have ever been to north Jersey...this particular highway has a different diner every direction you look. We're off to a great start, and we always meet some characters wherever we go, and we're always completely loved by our waitresses whenever we go (weird, huh?).

Anyway, T dated this guy E in 9th grade, for the majority of the year (which is a big deal in 9th grade!) and into 10th grade. She was hopelessly in love, and would commute to Boston to see him at least once a month, and he would come and visit Jersey. He even came to our winter dance all the way from Boston just to see her in 10th grade! E ended up breaking up with her one day in study hall, and I seriously remember being in the pavillion in 10th grade for study hall, sitting on the steps on the left side of the stage, and T just crying and crying and not being able to stop. I HATED E after that...especially because he hooked up with some hoe shortly after and started dating her.

It took T some time, but she was able to eventually move on. She casually dated some guys, we both agree that they were mostly losers, but c'est la vie. You live and learn. However, she kept in constant contact with E - and they even went on vacation together. I couldn't understand how he could break her heart and she would go back and be best friends with him - she is obviously a much more forgiving person than moi.

Well, obviously, T and E are now back together and have been for a year or two. They were continuing to do the long distance thing, with him in MA and her in NJ, which is a sucky distance, but it's doable.
THEN, E decided to go to school in FL, which meant their long distance would truly be a looooooong distance relationship. And an expensive one, they would both learn. She would fly to FL at least once a month, racking up crazy expenses and being broke all the time because of spending all her $ on plane tickets.

E and T decided something needed to stop - everything was getting too expensive, and it was too frustrating not being able to see each other. So T decided she would move to FL to be with E, and get a job down there waitressing while she finished school. Obviously, I was devasted - I was going to be losing my best friend, and no matter what anyone says, things would change. We would never get to see each other, and hanging out and spending time is a huge way that a friendship deepens. But I decided to be supportive, and tell her that while I would miss her, she had to follow her heart.

She decided not go to go FL...I guess the fact that she thought she'd be able to make great money as a waitress panned out, and she knew that the way they would be living wouldn't be comfortable. So T and E came to another decision - he would move in with her and her parents after graduating in November.

I immediately knew that things would change. How could they not? She and E would be living like a married couple, and things would just not be the same. I was determined to make the most of my time with T before E moved in - I came home from school every weekend for a month straight to hang out with her, and our friends M, J, and A.
The last time we hung out, she told me not to worry - nothing would change between us. I knew in my heart that was not true, but I told her that I was happy nothing would change.

I came home for Thanksgiving break last Tuesday, the same day T and E arrived from FL to move E into her house. She and I made plans for Wednesday, which were broken quickly. So things have already changed, and I feel like they're going to keep changing.

I really hope T and I don't drift apart, but I know that now our priorities are different.

Anyway, that's my venting for the day, sorry!! I think I just hate change, especially when it's change among my friends, and the people I really count on.

On a good note, after today I can completely be unstressed!! I finished my 68-page unit, am in the process of finishing a take home final as I type (aka I'm taking a break from the tediousness of it all), and then have only one final next Wednesday and I am DONE!! Yayyy!


P.S. I realized a completely random fact about myself - I have been eating two pieces of wheat toast, non-dairy butter, and grape jelly since I started my junior year of college in August. I think it's a comfort thing and has just become a part of my daily routine. It's weird cause I barely EVER eat toast at home.
It's so delicious. I'm making toast on my George Foreman as I type :)


•¦Amy¦• said...

That's hard.
I haven't lost friends to boyfriends. But I've lost a best friend before, and losing friends anyway is hard!

Anyhoo, I'm sorry.
It's probably a really weird situation, but maybe it'll get better as they settle in.

I'm crossing my fingers for you!

Jocelyn said...

I'm sorry. I hope that things don't change too much. I hate change also! It drives me nuts... Anyway, I hope things work out with T and E, you're a great friend to support her like in her decisions though. I'm here to listen to your venting anytime!

Wow- 68page unit? If that means that you had to write 68pages I am SO sorry. I should quit complaining about MY work load that's for sure!